
You pretend and respect people and institutions you think are absurd. You live attached in a cowardly fashion to moral and social conventions you despise,condemn and which you know lack foundations. It is that permanant contradiction between your ideas and desires and all dead formalities and vain pretenses of your civilization that make you sad, troubled and unbalanced.
In that untolerable conflict, you lose all joys of life and personality...because at every moment they suppress and restarin and check the free play of your powers.
THAT is the poisoned and mortal wound of what you call the CIVILIZED WORLD.
