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Its outrageous how much two years can take away from you. Your dreams, a friend, your confidence, a bit of you. And the loss of love leaves a void. Did anyone tell you that just how beautiful the fluttering of love's silken wings feel, its a lot worse when..oh well..turn the music on...Floyd, if you will. Its amazing how Floyd calms me. I digress.
"Thus ye shall think of all this fleeting world
A star at dawn, a bubble in a stream;
A flash of lightening in a summer cloud,
A flickering lamp, a phantom, and a dream"
- The Buddha
The flickering lamp has become steady, and life's finding direction again. There is music in the nocturnal sigh of trees. It doesn't always have to be a leap of faith. Sometimes its the smallest step. Like an interview that goes well. Thats how good happens. And when you realise it, its like you wake up each day with the biggest smile on your face. Its in the joy of finding an old photograph.Its in the joy of finally being able to sing the last two lines of an old forgotten song. Its in the longing to get back to Bharatnatyam and pick up where you left. Its in someone reciting to you, your favourite poem or being a critic to a masterful work of Satyajit Ray. Its like collapsing in to a butter puddle and laying there. Its like lying under a sheet with hair all over your face while he plays his composition for you making you feel like a million dollar. Or in having a profound revelation of self in the past 15 minutes. My basic state of being is happy and nobody takes it away from me.
Its outrageous how much three months can give back. Your dreams, the lost friend, your confidence, and finally, you.
I know I was born, and I know there will be a lapse of existence. The crazy being will remain just what she is. Indecisive, in search of heaven and hell,fickle minded and paranoid. But somethings will remain constant. Like Phi-the golden ratio.
Null. Phi. Pi.
To the Pi(es) in my life: Bhai, Yukti, Varun, Iago, Mou, Madhu, Arvind and you from NYC (if at all you're reading this!). Yes you are awesome. You don't have the slightest idea how your random messages/calls/talks have inspired me.
To a prospective new career.
To the smoking hot guy who could be a future colleague- another pie [of the other kind ;)]?
To faith being finally revived.
Come Monday.
Fuck the free world.
Carpe Diem.
Fingers Crossed.
Om :)
PS: Is the hypothesis falsified yet?
PPS: The picture was quite a find! There's the dark side of the moon. Ah Floyd. It stalks me :)
